The Journey To Italy

I remember watching Under the Tuscan Sun as a little girl thinking to myself, “I’m going to do that one day.” Well, I am not quite buying a villa in Tuscany, but I am headed on an adventure where I will be backpacking my way through Italy then head to a farm in Tuscany where I will be working. In less than two weeks, I will be starting my adventure! Isn’t that exciting! Well, this is my story of how this all began, the journey in-between, and the Lord’s faithfulness and provision through it all.

Four months ago, I had a dream…

It was blazing hot, the sun was shining, and I was digging, but I wasn’t alone. I was digging in front of this tall bright green vine next to a tall man. My surroundings looked like a plantation of some sort but I couldn’t name where I was. I couldn’t see the man, I could only see his back and just like that, I woke up. I didn’t think anything of it. It was just an odd dream and I happened to remember every detail. Well, one week later, my dream picked up exactly where it had left off only this time, the young man turned to face me. He was tall, tan, and handsome. His hair was dark and his eyes were kind. We were both digging and just talking. I am not sure what we were talking about but there was something about him that seemed familiar. It was like I knew him and he knew me, yet I have never seen this man before. Then the group I was with slowly started to gather together and head towards the house where we were all staying when this old petite woman with long silver hair and tan weathered skin got us together and had us sit in a circle. As I go to sit down, the young man sits beside me. Quickly, I rise and move across from him. The old woman was beside the young man and she looked at me with her piercing eyes as she pointed to this thickened scar on her elbow and said, “let’s talk about this?” 

 Immediately knowing what she was talking about, I start sharing basic, about me, information to the group. As I was speaking, the little old woman started shaking her head and quickly responded to me saying, “I am not talking about this,” as she points to a superficial scratch on her arm, “I am talking about this,” as she points to the thickened scar. I looked up at her and said with a calm yet stern voice, “no, we are not going there.” She starts speaking again and starts naming things that have wounded me in my past. Calling each one out one by one, I began to ache. The pain was unbearable. I leaned over holding myself; I started to cry begging her to stop. “Stop!” I cried. “Can’t you see you are hurting me?” The little woman with long silver hair and tan weathered skin looked at the young man then back at me and said, “you are to love her and love her well because she does not love herself right now.”

 Panting for breath, I sat up. Realizing it was only a dream. I soon laid back down and went back to sleep. 

How it all began…

Ever since I was a little girl, I have had a desire to go to Italy. I am not sure why or where it came from. France seemed sophisticated, London seemed royally romantic, Ireland seemed charmingly beautiful, but Italy felt right. Being one of six, this wasn’t something I could make happen while I was living at home, so I thought college would be the perfect opportunity! College came, and I found if I was to graduate on time while studying Food Science and Chemistry, a study abroad trip to Italy wasn’t an option. And then, life after college happened and as you know from reading my story, Italy again wasn’t in the cards. 

But, now I am moving. Now, I am leaving my home in Knoxville and headed to Nashville to pursue my brand full time (#livwelldaily #livingyourbesteveryday). Now, I am closing a chapter and beginning a new season of life. Now, is right and I have never felt more ready… yet scared at the same time!

 When I finally started to tell others about my dream to journey to Italy, it was about six – eight months ago. I felt the time was right, while they were all quietly concerned. You see, unlike my dad who had backpacked Europe before and was all for Liv’s BIG adventure, my friends knew me a little too well. They knew my blind spots. They knew of my inability to make concrete plans, they new of my inability to see detail, they knew my all too trusting personality, and they were certain this wasn’t a good idea. Having never voiced their concern and only telling me how fun and courageous this sounded, I thought they were all for it. So around the same time, I cracked open Rick Steve’s thick Italy travel guide, read the first few pages, and thought,  “I’ll just wing it! As long as I have a route to follow and a computer that works I am good!”

Now, you see their concern? Yeah, me too!

It wasn’t until two months ago, when my community started voicing their fears and doubts.“Are you sure now is the right time?” “Why do you feel the need to go alone?” “How are you going to make this happen?” “I am worried for your safety, aren’t you?” All of this surprised me. Everyone was concerned, especially when I said I was going alone. Having never voiced this before, it was as if I was about to marry a guy they couldn’t stand only they never told me the truth about how they felt until there was a ring on my finger! 

 Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but this was how I felt.

“Why are you just now telling me this?” I said. Well, it turns out they didn’t want to hurt my feelings or crush my dreams. They knew I was a dreamer who was consistently dreaming BIG dreams, but in all honesty, they didn’t think I would follow through with this one. When they saw how serious I was, they expressed their concern. 

 My community means the world to me. I love and trust my mentors and friends, so when they are concerned, I am too. We took their concerns and my sometimes naïve spirit to the Lord and waited. We waited to hear Him speak. We waited to receive clarity. 

The journey in between…

A little over one month ago, my roommate and I went to brunch one Sunday after church. She could see my heart was troubled. I expressed to her where I was with all of this. “Am I missing something here? Why am I always trying to take myself out of something instead of committing? Why am I leaving my community where I am known and loved and trying to move to a city where I am not known or travel to a country that I don’t even speak the language?”

 Tears streaming down my face, I was hit with the reality that if I leave, I leave her and the rest of my community here and that broke my heart. She put her hand over mine and prayed. She asked God to give us an answer today on what it was I am to do. Through our tears and sweet conversation, something happened. Jesus met us there. While we were talking about singleness and dating and dreaming about our future husbands, I looked up at my sweet friend and said, “In order for him to step into your life, I have to step out. The past two years we have spent together in our apartment have been foundational for our faith and life giving for our friendship. If there were boys in the midst of what God was trying to accomplish in our hearts, it would not have worked. But now, it is time. Our lease is up and in order for him to step into your life, I have to step out.” Both of us suddenly had tears running down our cheeks, when she looked at me and said, “Looks like you have your answer Liv. You are suppose to go.” 

I am the true vine…

That next day, my sister connected me with her friend who has traveled to 34 countries and lived in Italy for a year. “I think she will help you with your blind spots Liv,” my sister said. “You need to be more aware of your surroundings, especially traveling alone in Europe!” My sister was right. While I was talking to Nicki, she asked, “Why are you going to Italy.” I told her about this desire I have had since I was a little girl. I told her my plan was to backpack the first part of my trip but not to plan the second half. I expressed to her I had a feeling I was suppose to be somewhere and with someone. “I’m meeting somebody there, I’m just not sure who yet.” Nicki probably thinking I was nuts but asked if I had ever heard of WorkAway. I had said yes, but most of the jobs I had seen were nannying jobs and I knew that wasn’t something I was suppose to do while I was in Italy. Then she said, “Well, are you outdoorsy? Because if so, you could potentially work on a farm in Tuscany.” As soon as she said these words, chills ran down my spine as I felt the Lords presence come over me saying, “This is where I am calling you, this is why I am sending you.” As I hung up the phone with joy in my heart and peace in my bones, I finally had my why and while sitting outside on my porch the wind started to blow vigorously. My Bible was sitting next to me and the pages began to flip uncontrollably. When it finally stopped and everything was calm, I looked over at my Bible. I picked it up and I read: 

“Jesus the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do not bear fruit so they will produce even MORE. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. So remain in me. Remain in me and I will remain in you. Yes, I am the vine; you are my branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce MUCH fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you desire, and it will be granted! When you produce fruit, you are my true disciple and this brings me GREAT joy and glory to my Father. I have loved you even as my Father loved me. Remain in my love and obey my commandments. I have told you these things today so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! You didn’t choose me, I chose you. I have appointed you to go! Go and produce everlasting fruit with this commandment: love others in the same way I have loved you.” – John 15:1-17 NLT

With the biggest smile on my face and tears running down my cheeks, I was so moved by Him and just praising Him saying “thank you Father!” When all of the sudden, a chill ran down my spine as the dream I had back in February flooded my brain. Immediately the thoughts came back of me digging in front of a vine. Immediately He said, “that is where you were Liv and that is where I am taking you.”  

“You didn’t choose me, I chose you and I have appointed you to GO! Go and produce everlasting fruit. Go and multiply. Go and love. Love others the way I love you.” Friends, the young man in my dream represents Jesus. He is the body. He became flesh to walk among us, to dig with us, to get close to us, and to ultimately show us how much He loves us. When the young man came to sit next to me, I got up and moved away. “Remain in me,” He said. How often do we flee when Jesus comes close? Loving others requires closeness. Loving others requires vulnerability. The little old woman with long silver hair and tan weathered skin represents the Father. “He cuts off every branch that is not of Him so we can bear MUCH fruit.” Did you notice the scar was on her and not on me? You see, the Father holds all of our scars and mends all of our wounds. It may still hurt but I am no longer exposed. I am healed. I am freed. I am able to bear fruit. 

He provides… 

I am going to Italy to love others the way He has loved me. The next day something crazy happened yet again. I had yet to buy my ticket at this point, because I was uncertain how long I was suppose to be in Italy. I had been watching a round-trip flight for a few weeks when I asked the Father how long He wanted me there. “Like Moses I can see the land in which you have called me to, but like Moses, I cannot see your plan. Father I have blind peace. I have so much peace in my heart and I feel certain about this, but I do not know the timing or the logistics. How long do you want me there? Should I just buy a one-way ticket and stay or this round-trip?” A few hours later, I got an email saying the flight I had been tracking price dropped $200. Friends, I bought my round-trip flight to Italy for $346! And just a few days later, I got word from my aunt saying my tax return was finally complete and being mailed out. When I asked how much money I owed, she answered saying, “Olivia you actually do not owe anything, praise God! You are getting $346 back. This should arrive the last week of June.”

If He is calling you to do something beyond your means, He will provide all of your needs.

In just a few short months, the Lord gave me a clear picture and answered all of my prayers. He provided me with my why and gave purpose to my calling. In just a few short months, He provided me with financial opportunity to make this happen. In just a few short months, He gave me a friend to do this with. Remember Nicki? Well, come to find out she is starting her own business of helping young women travel by themselves, Solo Gal Travel— go check her out! We have decided to work together and she has provided me with a FULL itinerary making all of my Italian dreams come true and my friends nerves at ease! But, now I leave you with this…

In order for Jesus to step in, we have to be willing to step out. Are you willing to do the same? I am headed to Italy in less than two weeks. I am headed to Italy knowing I am going to meet someone there and who I am meeting is Jesus.

Until next time, ciao — Liv