Experiencing Setbacks Through a Positive Lens

I am learning that setbacks are not the driving force to set us back but actually the power to propel us forward in a more dynamic, refined, and purposeful way. In this blog post, I am going to be sharing some of my personal experiences with setbacks and how I have learned to look at this subject through the lens of positivity and growth versus failure and disappointment.

My hope is that this encouraging word will propel you to view your setbacks as a means to take a step back and get a different perspective before moving forward in the same or a completely new direction.

A setback is a step back

I think our culture would describe a setback as a means of failure, but what if its purpose is to actually get us to take a step back and gain perspective? According to Webster’s Dictionary, a setback is a checking of progress or to slow the progress. It is also described as a frame of reference from the front of a building to the back of a building.

Three Personal Stories

The pulling of straws

I think back to my fifth grade elementary school days when my sweet teacher would have her students pull straws as a result of a certain behavior. Being the good teacher that she was, she was consistently checking in on her students and our behavior. When I was talking too much, I would have to pull a straw. When I wasn’t following the rules, which, if I am honest, was too often, I had to pull a straw. If I was socializing instead of multiplying, I had to pull a straw. As silly as it may sound today, the pulling of straws was a physical checkin for me. I had to stand up in front of the entire class and pull my straw. HOW EMBARRASSING! My fellow students saw me act out as well as my lack of perfection and on top of all of that little mountain of shame I had created for myself, I had to go home and tell my parents. Oh the agony of waiting for dad to come home! You see, elementary school teachers are wise. They place little notes in the blue folders that are sent home with the children that require a parent signature before the folder can be returned the following day. There was no hiding my pulling of straws and as a result, I was punished for my behavior by not getting to attend that weekends magical sleepover!

The pulling of straws, required my parents to check in on their daughter and maybe setting her back socially so she could learn the value of respect and self discipline.

The building of ramps

While I was in college at the University of Tennessee, I was a part of a student ministry for UTK sorority and fraternity men and women. This ministry was and is today student led with a specific focus on the students in the Greek system. It is called The Cross and it is a special place. Every fall break, our ministry would gather students, crew chiefs, and adult leaders to spend an extended weekend in the mountains of Kentucky to build wheelchair ramps for the handicap community. While on mission, we would break up into teams with a crew chief, student leaders, and students who attended the trip. One fall break in particular, our team had a challenging project. Not only was the ramp the biggest among the group but the foundation was poor and our team was small. Our crew chief laid out the plan and us students got to work. Each night at worship and check in, we quickly realized how behind we were in comparison to the other groups (you see what happens when we compare our work to someone else's ). The following day, we were so focused on finishing the ramp, we missed actually seeing the man we were building for and getting to know him personally. You see, the ramp was an excuse to be invited into other peoples homes, lives, and stories. This ramp was a vessel to show love and kindness and we were missing it!

Then the rain came. As we were working diligently on this ramp, we all of the sudden got bombarded with a heavy gush of rainfall and were left with no other choice but to stop working. After knocking on the man’s door, he quickly invited us into his home with hot chocolate and warm cookies waiting for us inside. Our team sat in his living room floor eating warm cookies and began to listen. As the rain continued to fall, the man continued to speak. What would appear as a construction setback was actually a divine checkin.

When God sent the rain, He also sent His help (remember this friend when you are in the middle of your personal storm, His rescue is already in place). He could see the man on the inside of the house who needed someone to talk to and He could see the project that needed to be finished. When the rain finally quit and the day was late, other teams started showing up. One by one, as each group finished their project another would show up at our site until all of the groups were joined together working on one ramp.

When the ramp was complete and our trucks loaded, we left that site and his home with a different perspective and change of heart. You see, God used the rain to press pause on our work so His work could begin.

The ultimate rejection

Summer of 2017, I was hit hard. With only a few days between each event, I was not only rejected from what I thought my calling and purpose in life was but my mom filed for divorce and my boyfriend broke up with me. I remember looking at the broken pieces scattered around me that were once put together nice and neat, just like I wanted them (notice the “me” and “I” in all of this). But, you see, God wanted something different for me. He didn’t want me to just have a good life, He wanted me to experience His best for my life and with that comes scattering of MY pieces so He can put His daughter back together for His glory and His purpose.

Ever since I was a little girl, I thought I wanted to be a doctor but when I look back it was more of a need than a thought. You see, I thought I needed to be a doctor to be successful, safe, and secure as a female entrepreneur who truly desires to help and care for others. But, God took that lie I belived and gave me His truth instead. He said, “I am safety. I am security. I am your one an only level of success, because I died for you and I rose from the dead just for you.”

What appeared to be rejection was a redirection. If I had not received what I thought at the time was the BIGGEST rejection in my life, I would have missed the BIGGEST blessing over my life. For this rejection led me to YOU and creating this space for HER.

Friends, whether we are pulling straws, building ramps, or given rejections in the form of breakups, divorce, or school letters, I am here to say that each PAUSE in life holds meaning, value, and purpose. I want to encourage you to think about your own personal setbacks in life. How have they affected you? Did the setback lead you in a positive or a negative way? Did it shape you in wisdom or did it affect you in shame? Maybe, you cannot change what you did but you have the power to change how you react.

Our good, good Father can see it all! He sees the road ahead and will often times send the rain out of love and care to give you perspective from getting lost in the storm.

Until next time— Liv.